Well before I reveal what I have learned in life recently, let me do some set up work.
I have always been a blunt person. It really is just a piece of my personality. Most of the time without even realizing it I tend to just speak what comes to mind, or what comes to every one's mind but they wont say it. A lot of the time it's not to be mean, it just happens (I may have a broken filter in the control center). Then there are times when I fully know what I am about to say, and how I'm going to say it. Those are the biggest up roars.
We all have triggers in life. Triggers within that are only set off by certain things. My 'things' - liars, idiots, laziness, and crap talking. I think to an extent those "things" are triggers for everyone, but for me its my top things. Imagine a caged gorilla being poked then somehow he realizes he can open the cage. its all over for the one poking him. Some lazy, lying, crap talking, idiot starts in with me and then I realize, I can talk back. It's all over.
From there- drama hits the fan and it just a headache.
Now to the lesson...
Recently some girl texted me yelling at me for talking crap and saying I was lying .. what an idiot. At first I naturally wanted to just let her have it. But then like I was hit across the head I realized, was it worth it? Was it worth the drama and the headache? No. I knew what I had done, and it wasn't bad. So explaining myself really wasn't worth the time.
A few days ago I reflected on how I had just ended the potential drama. Again like I was hit across the head I realized what the expression "that is so high school pettiness" means.
(Now I realized I've only been out of high school for a few months, but really I think this college thing is getting to me)
Maybe this is a personal lesson, maybe it's a lesson that all high school graduates will eventually learn, but what I know is that I'm growing up.
The other night my best friends and I sat in one of their new campers. It was like 10 p.m and we (meaning them , I watched) had just finished blowing stuff up and were now just sitting and chatting. I realized how easy it was. There was no drama going on with us or around us. We were just sitting on a nice summer night, happy to be with each other.
Being blunt is something I will always be. Honesty it a piece of me, I can't stomach lieing. And telling people I don't understand if they are being dumb or funny is just how I function. But I think that learning when and how to be blunt is the key to growing up. I'm not naive to the fact that drama is going to hit the fan in all stages of my life, but hopefully I will be able to handle it in a way that sets off the littlest uproar - opposes to the biggest (my normal route).
Lately I have felt as if I am living as an adult. I work so many hours a week, I go to class so many hours a week, and I study so many hours a week. When I'm not doing one of the three I'm sleeping. That leaves little time for my friends, or social life, which goes against everything I have always been. It takes lots of planning and effort to go see a movie with a group of people. But what I have realized is that I'm not living like an adult, I am adult now. I have to find the balance of working and class to seeing the people I love. Even with the constant commitments I am enjoying my summer and the baby steps I am taking into adult life.
is this what adults look like?! :)
living to learn ...
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