Auntie Cayla

On Sunday my "niece" SkyeLeigh Rae turns 2. It's not even my birthday, yet I am ecstatic over the event. 


This little girl came into everyone's life at an unexpected moment. The situation was unconventional, and far from planned ; yet behind all the fear, anger, sorrow, and the unknown, a baby was being born. Born into a sinful world, a precious, beautiful, innocent baby girl. She graced her parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts alike. Life would never be the same from that moment forward, but no one wanted it to be. 


I can remember exactly what I was doing the night Skye was born. Her strong mother went into the hospital Friday morning. I knew of the appointment and anxiously awaited news all day. I remember I was at my friend Steven's house when I got a text. Reception at Steve's house was horrible, but I prayed something would come through, and it did. It was a simple picture of God's perfect blessing.  I stared at the picture, my arms tingling, my voice screaming. She looked like an alien, but she was perfect in every sense. 

I couldn't wait to see her. We waited until Mama and baby got home a few days later and settled in. I didn't know what to expect walking in. I do know,  I walked in as Cayla, walked out as Auntie Cayla.  

We watched her grow. Her little faces she made, the noises she squealed, the clothes she was dressed in- tears that were shed for 9 months were wiped away with smiles and laughter. 

As if she hadn't already filled a special part of my heart, she captured me forever at her baptism. I was honored to be asked to sing at her service, to be apart of a ceremony dedicating this child to God. The lyrics, I sand with a meaning. The melody, I sang with a passion. For those two short minutes no one else was in that chapel. Just my words and SkyeLeigh. 

Last year at her first birthday, it was more than just a birthday. It was mile stone. Grammy, Mama, and a beautiful baby girl had made it one year together. All the drama, anxiety, and sacrifices that were made were set aside for the day to celebrate the birth of a child that changed everyone. Awkward relationships and tension were forgotten for a few hours, coming together smiling that a year had passed.  

In the last year changes have happened. My love for Skye has grown and my relationship with her as widened. Since the day she was born, I had my special "Auntie" days with peanut. But over the summer it became more consistent. Every Friday SkyeLeigh and I spend the afternoon together while Mama goes to school, and Gammy & Papa go to work. 

We have had our fair share of adventures, laughs, arguments, time-outs, learning experiences, & picture worthy moments. The cute Love Bug turned into a Monster and still amazes me with her faces, noises (now words), and adorable outfits. 

She has taken a bit of my heart that I will never get back. Turning two turns the page and begins a new chapter. 

Chapter Three: SkyeLeigh & Family "grow-up"

sara goff photograhy

find at saragoffphotography on facebook 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0Uz51NJJxM

Blessed = Fortunate

{I'm not normally one who gets all mushy and emotional. I've grown up in a sarcastic home, and I like to keep things that way. But this is something I feel often and never say enough.}


-Today I had coffee with a good friend of mine. She is an adult. In fact her son is only a few years older than me and recently got married. But she is my friend. Normally we are joined by another friend, who was on staff at my school. These woman are at different stages in their lives than I. They have had gone through their high school and college days already, but I consider them my close friends. Why? They are beyond wise and understanding. They are easy to talk too, worth a thousand laughs, and completely filled with love. Like these two great woman, I have had a numerous people who have greatly influenced my life. In fact, my graduation speech was basically one big "Thank You" note to all of them. If I ever find that speech I'll post it. These people have steered me in the right direction, sent prayers of love my way, and given me priceless advice. 


-The other night I went to my sisters volleyball game. It was a regional game so a lot of students showed up to cheer the team on. I haven't been up to FCS in a few weeks, so I really hadn't seen many high school friends in a while. I sat in the middle of them, all in the stands, laughing and cheering on the girls on the court. At one moment I was silent and just took everything in. I was sitting next to Ben  and Adam. Next to them was Brandon and Alex, and in a bench above us Steven sat. We all just laughed and made dumb jokes. Those days I miss, but at that moment no one cared about the amount of time that had passed since we last saw each other. We just had a good time. 


-Last week I was sitting on my Mac, mindlessly. Suddenly I heard the "ding". I had a facebook chat message. I looked down to see David had messaged me. We sat for a while, discussing what the last week had brought the two of us. After he logged off, it was almost surreal to think, this time last year we weren't able to talk, and here we were talking about college! 


-On Monday I had a regular family I babysit for call me. The mom had changed her hours at work and needed me to start coming over on Thursdays to get the kids off to school. That same day another regular family asked me to start coming over 6 hours a week to do some special games with her child to help socialize him. Then on Tuesday a family friend called me asking if I could come hang out with the kids 10 hours a week.As if that wasn't enough to get on the calendar I had to still keep in mind my regular jobs I already have on Tuesday/Thursday and then Friday's with my niece. At on point I was approaching a break down. How was I going to do this all? And then it dawned on me, make it work! These families trust me enough to get the job done, why am I freaking out about it? 




Now how does this all come together? Well, I am a huge Casting Crowns fan! Recently their latest album came out so I logged into iTunes right away! This may be my new favorite song! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpngmw9NQ5I&feature=related

While listening to this song I thought of a few friends that don't have their dads in their life. Because they have accepted Christ into their lives, they have turned out to be great Godly, young woman of God. But the fact still remains, their Fathers are not around. It made me say a little prayer that I am blessed enough to have such a great Daddy in my life. Yes, I am 19 and referred to my father as Daddy. I once read this quote: 

"Anyone can be a Father, it takes a special man to be a Daddy" 

After saying a little pray in thanks for my daddy, it made me realize how big I have been blessed. All these great people in my life, watching me grow and blessing me with such lessons. I am forever grateful for them and everything they through my way ; good, bad, or ugly. 

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed.

Make Things Happen

In the last week I was offered three new consistent jobs! THREE! It is beyond an honor that these parents trust and think of me! 


Something that hit me like ton of bricks since I was offered these new jobs is budgeting. Now common sense tells me "DUH, what have you been waiting for!?". Honestly, I don't know. I have all these goals that I want to accomplish - move out in a year, buy and maintain a smart phone, start contributing to maintaing my car and it's like I'm waiting for the sky to fall to start making these goals happen. I have been very blessed that all these families have made babysitting a full time job for me, but I have been irresponsible in saving.  


If the parents give me a check it goes straight into the bank and I usually don't touch it, well other then December when I go crazy in Christmas shopping. If the parents pay in cash, it goes straight into my wallet and I'm lucky if it's still there in a week. My excuse has always been "oh its spending money so I don't touch my bank account". But the truth of the matter is I am paid more in cash than in checks, so the amount of saving I am doing is not nearly enough. 


Since I will soon have six consistent babysitting jobs, and of course the weekend jobs I need to start budgeting. My budget of "check is for saving, cash is for spending" isn't going to cut it anymore. I have an opportunity to make cash by doing something I love to do. My senior year of high school I was able to take a consumer maths class. I loved it, mostly because of my teacher, but also because it was an encouraging way to start my financial life. Leaving that class I was excited and ready to start off my college life. I think my goals were set because of that excitement. But now I need that spark back. I need to be responsible with my money. I have the tools, the opportunity, and the knowledge needed to budget, now I just have to put it into action! 


Stay tuned if I succeed right away or not. ha! Until then, living to learn! 

Awareness

September was Childhood Cancer awareness month, Ovarian Cancer awareness month, and Breast Cancer awareness month. I am sure other types of cancer awareness as well, but these are the three that I heard most about. 

Normally, I would acknowledge it was such and such month and move on. But this year, it was different. 

Recently, I purchased a yellow car. When purchasing the car, I wasn't sold on the color, but really had no other choice. It was a great car and I was starting to like the noticeable yellow. But everyone was making dumb jokes about it.. "how much is the cab fare?". 

A friend was promoting Childhood Cancer awareness coming up in September and mentioned that Yellow is CC's color. I figured, why not embrace the yellow. I took a window marker and wrote "Childhood Cancer Awareness Month" on the back window of my yellow car & "the cure starts now.com" on the side back windows. At first people I knew and regularly saw, thought it was cool. 

About two weeks into sharing the awareness I was sitting in the bank drive through waiting to deposit my money with my window down. A lady in the other lane rolled down her window and said "Thank you! I am a surviver! Thank you for your awareness" I was speechless. I sat there staring at her, not a word coming to mind. Never did it occur to me someone I didn't know would comment on it. 

A few days later I was driving back from EIU when I pulled into a gas station to refuel. While standing there waiting, a man pulled up beside me and asked "can you donate at that website?" pointing to my window. I nodded my head yes and smiled. 

Once back at Woodstock I went over to a friends house to babysit her kiddos. She went through the regular, "that one has eaten, that one hasn't. He has computer time, that one needs to read his book".. on and on. Then she said "I'll just be in the neighborhood, I'm hanging teal ribbon" she said good-bye and was off. While playing with the kids, it dawned on me why she was hanging ribbon. Teal is the color of Ovarian cancer. In the days to follow I noticed teal ribbon around trees or post all over town. Every time I saw one, I smiled. 

Cancer is an awful thing. It takes the lives of thousands of people, and it forever changes those it doesn't take. At this point a cure has not been found for several types. I may not be some world changing scientist that one day will find the cure, but I am a somebody who can do one small thing to spread the awareness, in hopes that my awareness will reach another person, who's awareness will reach another, and on and on until that world changing scientist is made aware, and forever changes our lives. And if that day never comes, then at least my awareness can offer a little support for those who have been affected by it. 

Always Have Hope. 

Everything has a Timing

Last Sunday I led the 10:45 contemporary worship service in singing. And of course, I learned something. 


My music teacher, Mrs. Hurley, discovered I could sing my sixth grade year. I continued to sing at FCS since than. Growing up I sang in the church choir, but when I reached High School I stopped. It wasn't that I didn't like singing, but it wasn't my kind of music, and I had other issues. 


Last year when my niece was baptized, her Gammy asked me to sing there. It was my first solo at church. I, of course, said yes. It was niece's baptism after all; I wasn't going to say NO! But I was terrified to be opening that door at a place that for years I never felt comfortable at. I got up there and sang, for SkyeLeigh. Little did I know what that would lead too. 


Ron, the music director at our Church, was surprised I could actually sing. He started inviting me to sing in the adult choir and then this year he asked me to lead the 8:30 traditional service at church. It was a lot of work and lots of nerves, but I survived. Although I was starting to enjoy singing at church, the temporary service was not my thing. I rarely attended that services. Ron must of caught on because he asked me to sing at the contemporary service next. I agreed, but little did I know how much I would love it.


When I got the music, I was ecstatic! Most of the songs I knew, and loved. The few songs I wasn't familiar with ended up being some of my favorite. 


Singing in this service was another door opening. A new crowd, a new experience. I also learned a lot in rehearsal on what I need to focus on. Singing last Sunday was a great experience, and next week I start rehearsals all over again for when I sing again. I am excited to jump back into the worship music and start to improve on things I need to work on. 


What I have learned through this experience is that everything as a timing. If I wouldn't have sang at SkyeLeigh's baptisms, Ron wouldn't be aware of the gift God gave me. If I hadn't joined the adult choir, I wouldn't have been willing to singing on my own at the 8:30 service. If I wouldn't have sang in the 8:30 service, I wouldn't have known I was able to lead a service and move on to something more my style. If I hadn't sang at the 10:45 service I wouldn't be using my God given gift. 


I look forward to what God has in mind for my singing in the future. Until then...