Friendship

Friendships have always been important to me. Lots of people have come into my life, and unless you really piss me off, it's hard for me to let go. 


    All friendships are different. Some are "Facebook" worthy. People you care about, but only on a "social network" kind of level. They are worth your web time, but not your actual time. Plus, "Facebook" relationships enable you to creep on their lives, without really having to put in the time, ha! 
   Some are "Group" worthy. You care for them on a level of group activities. You are willing to spend your Friday nights with them, as long as your other friends are around. It keeps you on a neutral zone. 
   And then there are those who hit the "Friend Zone". You spend lots of time with them, you know lots about them, and you may even add them to the Christmas Shopping list. But there is always some other factor that will trump your friendship, in a positive way. Like, family time trumps your plans. 
    And of course, there are the Best Friends. Nothing really trumps them. Family time scheduled? How bout they come along. These are the people you share everything with and value their opinion as much as you value your mothers. These are the people that will see the good,bad, and ugly and still love you just the same..or more. These are the people who tell you the truth rather than what you want to hear. And these are the people you do all the same for. No matter the distance or time spent apart, you two are still best friends. 


So far in my life of 19 years, I have learned that all friendships change. Some for the better, some for the worse, some easy, some not so much. Like all relationships, things are happy AND sad. good AND bad. no worries AND lots of worries. Days change, moments change, naturally relationships change. Dealing with those changes in the right way is what makes that friendship better and stronger. 


There have been lots of people in life that I have considered a friend, or best friend. Some have moved on. God has will for us all, and sometimes that will takes us different directions. Others have stayed around, maybe not in the front lines, but I know if I ever needed a shoulder to cry on, or they needed a hand to hold we would be there. Those of them who are front stage in my life have made each day that much sweeter. They are the people I will fight for till the end of time, the fact that they will fight for me too, is what I call a..

<3 FRIENDSHIP <3

Crazy days bring BIG lessons.

Last Thursday was my 1st real busy day! I woke up at 6 to be out the door and to a job at 7am. It was am busy morning, finally ending with that family at 11:30 at PraireWood Elementary school. Then I raced across the neighborhood to have a busy two hours with another very lovable kid. As soon as the clock struck 2pm, I was out the door flying across the highway to get my cousin off the bus and do homework. My aunt walked in the door at 3:30 and I bolted across town to my last and final job the day. But the job was far from calm, we did homework, cleaned the house, and cooked dinner. As soon as dinner was done I tried my best to beat the clock to 7pm so I could make a church meeting. 


It was a crazy day, full of joy, laughter, relief, and exhaustion. Because of my busy Thursday schedule and my other semi-days, I have been able to budget myself. I now have a set amount of income coming in each week and then month. This to a normal person may seem like a no big deal, but to me - a college student, learning how to grow up- this is beyond exciting. Just having a budget and having to keep to it, is comforting. I am one step closer to "becoming an adult", paying some bills, paying for gas, and maybe moving out some day. 


As of last night I have finished my February calendar. Now, obviously I will have some changes and add-ins. But for the most part things are set, on paper & in the iCal. To most people that sounds crazy! & yes, it is crazy, however, I have to have my calendar up to date always and ready to whip out at a moments notice. Dates & times are my best friends these days ; providing me with stability, comfort, and organization.  


Although growing up is a world of unknown and brings much fear, simple things like set budgets and planning ahead prevents from a total Cayla Meltdown..


living to learn... 

Auntie Cayla

On Sunday my "niece" SkyeLeigh Rae turns 2. It's not even my birthday, yet I am ecstatic over the event. 


This little girl came into everyone's life at an unexpected moment. The situation was unconventional, and far from planned ; yet behind all the fear, anger, sorrow, and the unknown, a baby was being born. Born into a sinful world, a precious, beautiful, innocent baby girl. She graced her parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts alike. Life would never be the same from that moment forward, but no one wanted it to be. 


I can remember exactly what I was doing the night Skye was born. Her strong mother went into the hospital Friday morning. I knew of the appointment and anxiously awaited news all day. I remember I was at my friend Steven's house when I got a text. Reception at Steve's house was horrible, but I prayed something would come through, and it did. It was a simple picture of God's perfect blessing.  I stared at the picture, my arms tingling, my voice screaming. She looked like an alien, but she was perfect in every sense. 

I couldn't wait to see her. We waited until Mama and baby got home a few days later and settled in. I didn't know what to expect walking in. I do know,  I walked in as Cayla, walked out as Auntie Cayla.  

We watched her grow. Her little faces she made, the noises she squealed, the clothes she was dressed in- tears that were shed for 9 months were wiped away with smiles and laughter. 

As if she hadn't already filled a special part of my heart, she captured me forever at her baptism. I was honored to be asked to sing at her service, to be apart of a ceremony dedicating this child to God. The lyrics, I sand with a meaning. The melody, I sang with a passion. For those two short minutes no one else was in that chapel. Just my words and SkyeLeigh. 

Last year at her first birthday, it was more than just a birthday. It was mile stone. Grammy, Mama, and a beautiful baby girl had made it one year together. All the drama, anxiety, and sacrifices that were made were set aside for the day to celebrate the birth of a child that changed everyone. Awkward relationships and tension were forgotten for a few hours, coming together smiling that a year had passed.  

In the last year changes have happened. My love for Skye has grown and my relationship with her as widened. Since the day she was born, I had my special "Auntie" days with peanut. But over the summer it became more consistent. Every Friday SkyeLeigh and I spend the afternoon together while Mama goes to school, and Gammy & Papa go to work. 

We have had our fair share of adventures, laughs, arguments, time-outs, learning experiences, & picture worthy moments. The cute Love Bug turned into a Monster and still amazes me with her faces, noises (now words), and adorable outfits. 

She has taken a bit of my heart that I will never get back. Turning two turns the page and begins a new chapter. 

Chapter Three: SkyeLeigh & Family "grow-up"

sara goff photograhy

find at saragoffphotography on facebook 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0Uz51NJJxM

Blessed = Fortunate

{I'm not normally one who gets all mushy and emotional. I've grown up in a sarcastic home, and I like to keep things that way. But this is something I feel often and never say enough.}


-Today I had coffee with a good friend of mine. She is an adult. In fact her son is only a few years older than me and recently got married. But she is my friend. Normally we are joined by another friend, who was on staff at my school. These woman are at different stages in their lives than I. They have had gone through their high school and college days already, but I consider them my close friends. Why? They are beyond wise and understanding. They are easy to talk too, worth a thousand laughs, and completely filled with love. Like these two great woman, I have had a numerous people who have greatly influenced my life. In fact, my graduation speech was basically one big "Thank You" note to all of them. If I ever find that speech I'll post it. These people have steered me in the right direction, sent prayers of love my way, and given me priceless advice. 


-The other night I went to my sisters volleyball game. It was a regional game so a lot of students showed up to cheer the team on. I haven't been up to FCS in a few weeks, so I really hadn't seen many high school friends in a while. I sat in the middle of them, all in the stands, laughing and cheering on the girls on the court. At one moment I was silent and just took everything in. I was sitting next to Ben  and Adam. Next to them was Brandon and Alex, and in a bench above us Steven sat. We all just laughed and made dumb jokes. Those days I miss, but at that moment no one cared about the amount of time that had passed since we last saw each other. We just had a good time. 


-Last week I was sitting on my Mac, mindlessly. Suddenly I heard the "ding". I had a facebook chat message. I looked down to see David had messaged me. We sat for a while, discussing what the last week had brought the two of us. After he logged off, it was almost surreal to think, this time last year we weren't able to talk, and here we were talking about college! 


-On Monday I had a regular family I babysit for call me. The mom had changed her hours at work and needed me to start coming over on Thursdays to get the kids off to school. That same day another regular family asked me to start coming over 6 hours a week to do some special games with her child to help socialize him. Then on Tuesday a family friend called me asking if I could come hang out with the kids 10 hours a week.As if that wasn't enough to get on the calendar I had to still keep in mind my regular jobs I already have on Tuesday/Thursday and then Friday's with my niece. At on point I was approaching a break down. How was I going to do this all? And then it dawned on me, make it work! These families trust me enough to get the job done, why am I freaking out about it? 




Now how does this all come together? Well, I am a huge Casting Crowns fan! Recently their latest album came out so I logged into iTunes right away! This may be my new favorite song! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpngmw9NQ5I&feature=related

While listening to this song I thought of a few friends that don't have their dads in their life. Because they have accepted Christ into their lives, they have turned out to be great Godly, young woman of God. But the fact still remains, their Fathers are not around. It made me say a little prayer that I am blessed enough to have such a great Daddy in my life. Yes, I am 19 and referred to my father as Daddy. I once read this quote: 

"Anyone can be a Father, it takes a special man to be a Daddy" 

After saying a little pray in thanks for my daddy, it made me realize how big I have been blessed. All these great people in my life, watching me grow and blessing me with such lessons. I am forever grateful for them and everything they through my way ; good, bad, or ugly. 

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed.

Make Things Happen

In the last week I was offered three new consistent jobs! THREE! It is beyond an honor that these parents trust and think of me! 


Something that hit me like ton of bricks since I was offered these new jobs is budgeting. Now common sense tells me "DUH, what have you been waiting for!?". Honestly, I don't know. I have all these goals that I want to accomplish - move out in a year, buy and maintain a smart phone, start contributing to maintaing my car and it's like I'm waiting for the sky to fall to start making these goals happen. I have been very blessed that all these families have made babysitting a full time job for me, but I have been irresponsible in saving.  


If the parents give me a check it goes straight into the bank and I usually don't touch it, well other then December when I go crazy in Christmas shopping. If the parents pay in cash, it goes straight into my wallet and I'm lucky if it's still there in a week. My excuse has always been "oh its spending money so I don't touch my bank account". But the truth of the matter is I am paid more in cash than in checks, so the amount of saving I am doing is not nearly enough. 


Since I will soon have six consistent babysitting jobs, and of course the weekend jobs I need to start budgeting. My budget of "check is for saving, cash is for spending" isn't going to cut it anymore. I have an opportunity to make cash by doing something I love to do. My senior year of high school I was able to take a consumer maths class. I loved it, mostly because of my teacher, but also because it was an encouraging way to start my financial life. Leaving that class I was excited and ready to start off my college life. I think my goals were set because of that excitement. But now I need that spark back. I need to be responsible with my money. I have the tools, the opportunity, and the knowledge needed to budget, now I just have to put it into action! 


Stay tuned if I succeed right away or not. ha! Until then, living to learn! 

Awareness

September was Childhood Cancer awareness month, Ovarian Cancer awareness month, and Breast Cancer awareness month. I am sure other types of cancer awareness as well, but these are the three that I heard most about. 

Normally, I would acknowledge it was such and such month and move on. But this year, it was different. 

Recently, I purchased a yellow car. When purchasing the car, I wasn't sold on the color, but really had no other choice. It was a great car and I was starting to like the noticeable yellow. But everyone was making dumb jokes about it.. "how much is the cab fare?". 

A friend was promoting Childhood Cancer awareness coming up in September and mentioned that Yellow is CC's color. I figured, why not embrace the yellow. I took a window marker and wrote "Childhood Cancer Awareness Month" on the back window of my yellow car & "the cure starts now.com" on the side back windows. At first people I knew and regularly saw, thought it was cool. 

About two weeks into sharing the awareness I was sitting in the bank drive through waiting to deposit my money with my window down. A lady in the other lane rolled down her window and said "Thank you! I am a surviver! Thank you for your awareness" I was speechless. I sat there staring at her, not a word coming to mind. Never did it occur to me someone I didn't know would comment on it. 

A few days later I was driving back from EIU when I pulled into a gas station to refuel. While standing there waiting, a man pulled up beside me and asked "can you donate at that website?" pointing to my window. I nodded my head yes and smiled. 

Once back at Woodstock I went over to a friends house to babysit her kiddos. She went through the regular, "that one has eaten, that one hasn't. He has computer time, that one needs to read his book".. on and on. Then she said "I'll just be in the neighborhood, I'm hanging teal ribbon" she said good-bye and was off. While playing with the kids, it dawned on me why she was hanging ribbon. Teal is the color of Ovarian cancer. In the days to follow I noticed teal ribbon around trees or post all over town. Every time I saw one, I smiled. 

Cancer is an awful thing. It takes the lives of thousands of people, and it forever changes those it doesn't take. At this point a cure has not been found for several types. I may not be some world changing scientist that one day will find the cure, but I am a somebody who can do one small thing to spread the awareness, in hopes that my awareness will reach another person, who's awareness will reach another, and on and on until that world changing scientist is made aware, and forever changes our lives. And if that day never comes, then at least my awareness can offer a little support for those who have been affected by it. 

Always Have Hope. 

Everything has a Timing

Last Sunday I led the 10:45 contemporary worship service in singing. And of course, I learned something. 


My music teacher, Mrs. Hurley, discovered I could sing my sixth grade year. I continued to sing at FCS since than. Growing up I sang in the church choir, but when I reached High School I stopped. It wasn't that I didn't like singing, but it wasn't my kind of music, and I had other issues. 


Last year when my niece was baptized, her Gammy asked me to sing there. It was my first solo at church. I, of course, said yes. It was niece's baptism after all; I wasn't going to say NO! But I was terrified to be opening that door at a place that for years I never felt comfortable at. I got up there and sang, for SkyeLeigh. Little did I know what that would lead too. 


Ron, the music director at our Church, was surprised I could actually sing. He started inviting me to sing in the adult choir and then this year he asked me to lead the 8:30 traditional service at church. It was a lot of work and lots of nerves, but I survived. Although I was starting to enjoy singing at church, the temporary service was not my thing. I rarely attended that services. Ron must of caught on because he asked me to sing at the contemporary service next. I agreed, but little did I know how much I would love it.


When I got the music, I was ecstatic! Most of the songs I knew, and loved. The few songs I wasn't familiar with ended up being some of my favorite. 


Singing in this service was another door opening. A new crowd, a new experience. I also learned a lot in rehearsal on what I need to focus on. Singing last Sunday was a great experience, and next week I start rehearsals all over again for when I sing again. I am excited to jump back into the worship music and start to improve on things I need to work on. 


What I have learned through this experience is that everything as a timing. If I wouldn't have sang at SkyeLeigh's baptisms, Ron wouldn't be aware of the gift God gave me. If I hadn't joined the adult choir, I wouldn't have been willing to singing on my own at the 8:30 service. If I wouldn't have sang in the 8:30 service, I wouldn't have known I was able to lead a service and move on to something more my style. If I hadn't sang at the 10:45 service I wouldn't be using my God given gift. 


I look forward to what God has in mind for my singing in the future. Until then... 

6 Weeks

Man, it's been a while since I have last blogged! 


Lots has happen since my last entry, but I couldn't even begin to pick up where I left off, so I'm not going to try, hah :)


As for updates,


-My first blog was about the "iPhone Battle", well I feel as if I need a refreshment. I may have an addiction to expensive things, my list keeps getting bigger and bigger, more expensive and more expensive. And I am dying for a smart phone. It seems every where I turn someone else is getting a smart phone. DARN THEM :) But I keep telling myself, I don't need it. Maybe one of these days I will believe it. 


-Almost a year ago, I started another blog. I only had three entries & they weren't very good. So eventually I never picked it up again. When I created 'Living to Learn' for a creative writing assignment somehow my e-mail connected my old blog to the new one. I really hope I deleted it right, cause it is awful! I bring it up, however, because two of my three entries were about my friend David! He has always been my best friend- well since 6th grade-. We did everything together, talked everyday, saw each other everyday, spent the weekends together. We were truly 2 peas in a pod. Then with a series of complicated, unexplainable, and shocking events- this is the story shortened- we were no longer allowed to communicate. It was a life changing experience. I remember talking about it with the amazing Mrs. Curry. She said to me "It's like you are dealing with a break-up". Those words stuck with me the rest of the year, it really was a break-up. A break-up David & I had no control over. Anyway, not to go on and on about last week's news :).. David turned 18 & we are able to talk again, well not sure if we are able, but we are :). It has been great. We are both starting college, and slowing catching each other up on our senior years. 


The other night we skyped for the first time. It was the first time in a year that I heard his voice. Naturally, I expected some awkwardness, it's been a year! But believe it or not, it was as if a year hadn't  past. We were talking and laughing like we had just seen each other the other day. When I first opened the skype call, I couldn't see him- the screen was black. I was trying to explain it to him "David, you are ... you're .. black" .. "Really, Cayla? We are starting the conversation off like this" (David is black, hah!).  Even though David is miles away in Seattle, I am ecstatic to know that him & I are back. Even though it's not the normal we use to know, even though the chances of me seeing him in person anytime soon is slim to none, I am happy to say my friend is back in my life, and I am back in his. 


-Since my last blog, I have gone to EIU to see my other best friend, Ali! That trip in itself deserves a blog! It taught me a lots, besides having a blast visiting her and others. Ali's sister, Bianca, and I went to  EIU over Labor Day weekend. We left on Saturday and made four hour trip down to Charleston, IL. Holy Macaroni! I learned two things on that drive; 1. Rt 47 is a VERY long road. 2. IL really does have LOTS and LOTS of corn. Finally after hours in the car, looking at nothing but CORN, we made it to EIU. The three of us girls had a great weekend. We spent one night at U of I with our friend Steph, and then making a trip down to SIUE, to see our friend Luke. 


While visiting the three friends, they of course showed off their dorms and campus. I spent one weekend in a dorm, and if I had it my way, that is the only time I will spend in a dorm. I use to think living in dorm would be fun, exciting, something new to decorate. I guess I learned more about myself that weekend. It just isn't as glorified as I played it up in my head to be. I plan on transferring, but not into a dorm, I will find an apartment. 


-Since I have started classes, I have had to drop one. Yes, you guessed, I dropped my world religions class. That professor expected a lot, and going to school everyday plus working at nights really left little time for me to put the right amount of work in. And yes, I was a little chicken. But by dropping that class I learned a lot. I learned that I'm not going to try and rush a two year degree into one year. Yes, it can be done, and if I wasn't working so much, I think I could do it. But after going to EIU and experiencing just a sliver of what real college life is like, I know I am not ready to rush things. 


Since dropping that class, things have been easy. I was almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am in week 6 of college and I am just NOW getting homework. I know people stressing out, hard core, because of the amount of papers and reading. I am just now getting papers  and heavy readings assigned and even that isn't too much to ask from me. I really feel that FCS prepared me for the work load college was going to through my way. And I put very little effort into high school, those of you who put your everything into high school, college should not be that stressful, yet. And let me just say this for those of you thinking "it's community college, what do you expect?", FALSE! I talk regularly to  the valedictorian of my graduating class, who went on to a university, she too feels it is not that difficult or over whelming. But we both agree, it's only the first semester of freshman year! 


-A majority of my friends are away at school now. Ali & Bridgette are at EIU, Steph at U of I, Luke at SUIE, Annie somewhere in Chicago, Kate somewhere in Naperville, Alyssa somewhere in Minnesota but a few are still here at MCC. I have spending lots of time with Sam, Michaela, Rachel, and Nate. The ironic thing about this group of people above is I didn't graduate with them, I haven't known them for years. Yes, some of them I have known since freshman year, but a majority of them I just started hanging out with over junior and senior year. I feel so welcomed into their group, and as corny as it sounds, these are the people I see myself with in ten to twenty years from now! It is beyond annoying that they are off at college and we are all apart, but the great thing about having such an awesome group friends is, you know the minuet they get back into town we are all going to have a great time, as if no time has passed :) 


-As of my relationships with people I went to school with, its pretty simple. A few years ago my dad had a school reunion. Him and my uncle (who graduated in the same class) didn't go. When people asked why they responded "The people I want to see, and really care to know what is going on in their lives, I already see. All the others don't matter to me." That really is how it is with me, already- it hasn't even been 6 months. I have made the occasional trips up to FCS, it's easy now because my sister is still there, but really the only people  I talk to are the people I see outside of school. 


My graduating class does have a Facebook page, and I try to post comments to get us all talking, even if we are miles away. But I think that is as far as it will go, we never got along in high school, what makes us think we will now, it has only been 6 months! :) Last Christmas we did talk about getting together again at Christmas, when we are all home from college. At the time I thought that was crazy, why would I want to see these people after high school. Now, however, I think I may try to organize that. Even if some of us hated each other, or still kind of do, we are a family of some sort. We grew up together through jr. high and high school. An occasional get together will not kill us, plus it's always fun to what Melissa brings for the white elephant game! Who knows, I may try to organize it, and remember why I thought the idea was crazy. 


- Overall the first six weeks of college life have been fun and enjoyable. I've learned some things in life and in school, after all, I'm living to learn :) 

until next time ...

New Routines, New Responsibilities, New Goal

As of right now I have finished my first week of the Fall Semester at MCC. 


Monday morning I drove to MCC, arriving at 9:30 a.m. Boy, did I hit the busy time! The parking lot was jammed back, they even had a traffic director. I parked way out in Timbuktu & started walking into Building B for my Music Appreciation class ( MUS 151). It was a typical music class, a very energetic teacher, excited about anything musical! The class was dismissed an hour and twenty minuets later. It was like I was at a completely different school. The hallways that were jammed full when I made my way to my first class were now walkable, only a few students sitting on the benches on the side of the halls. I was later told the 10 o'clock class starters are one of the busiest times at the school. I made my way back to Timbuktu for my yellow car! I had a few hours to kill before my 2nd class. I found my mom in town & went out to lunch. 


Once back at MCC at 2 o'clock I parked, this time so much closer, and made my way to Building A, floor 3. I walked into my Comp 1 (ENG 151) class and took a seat. Instantly I was struck with nerves. English has never been my strong suit, and looking at the teacher, she looked tough. My Music class didn't scare me with the expectations and work load, I felt as if my English was going to make up for that. The class begun, and what do you know, I was wrong. My English teacher is hysterical! I absolutely love her, and look forward to that class the most, shocking! After the class was let out I made my way to the parking lot, you see on my way into English I had a spaz-out-moment, and dropped my keys in my car. Then locked it. Smooth move, ay? Luckily my mom met me in the parking lot at 4p.m to give me the spare keys. I swear, God is laughing pretty hard at the fact that this FORD is giving me some trouble. 


After I corrected the key situation I made my way to building A, floor 2. I had math. Now normally I would be terrified at math, but because of a summer Math class I took, it was smooth rolling. I was shocked by the amount of kids in my class, but other then that, it was math. I was let out at 6:20 p.m & headed home. I had made it through my first full time college day. 


Tuesday afternoon I started yet another class. World Religion (PHI 261) I was looking forward to it the most. Once seated and handed the syllabus, I chocked. The biggest part of the class: interviewing a religious leader of a belief that you don't practice. After lots of encouragement, and suggestions I am now very excited about it, but I did find a class that would make up for the lack work I was given in the other three classes. Lots of expectations. 


A few blogs ago I talked about how I felt God was getting me ready for big things, like He had a challenge in store for me. I think this class is my challenge! As soon as I got the syllabus I thought to myself "I'm dropping this class! There is no way I am doing this!" The more class went on and the more the (very interesting) professor kept speaking and explaining, I realized this could be a very good opportunity for me. In the beginning of the summer I explained how much I loved FCS, what they had done to shape me, and how I felt I could take a bit of FCS and spread it at MCC. I think this class offers me an opportunity to spread FCS. 


Wednesday & Thursday repeated Monday & Tuesday. Now today, Friday, I started another class. Intro to Sociology ( SOC 151). I assumed because it was a Friday morning class that was three hours long, it would be fairly empty. Boy, was I wrong again. 36 kids! That is almost four times my graduating class! Anyways, again, it seems very interesting & I'm excited to dig in. 


Overall my class loads are not un-doable, and I am looking forward to it. Now talk to me in a few weeks when they are all in full swing, ha! 


In between all my classes I have committed to a few consistent babysitting jobs, with the occasional sporadic jobs. I feel like I have been going 100 mph and I am loving it. 


I suppose the lesson I learned in the last week is God has a plan. Junior Year when our guidance counselor started talking about College and our plans I freaked out. I wanted nothing to do with College. I was happy in High School, why would I want to grow up and be given more responsibility? As each month went by through out my Junior and Senior year I became more and more open to the College idea. God as a timing for everything, He has plans to prepare us so that when the time comes we are more then ready to embark on the new journey/ challenge.  


My next goal is to get a more consistent job rather then babysitting (hopefully I still have enough time to fit in all my wonderful families!) so that I can start saving money. After a I budget myself with a consistent income I plan on finding a few roommates and moving into my own apartment. I want to have a great educational journey at MCC, putting in more effort then High School and having great grades. In a year from NOW, I hope I will be writing about my new apartment & new experiences. As much as my goals frighten me, I know that God will give me the strength, knowledge, and opportunities to make these goals happen when He wants. Thanks be to God. 

Friendships

Today was a hard day, and tomorrow is going to be even harder.


My friend Ali leaves for college. I am beyond excited for her to go off to EIU. She has huge opportunities ahead of her & I am so proud of how hard she has worked.


I however HATE that she is leaving me! In no way does the college experience sound thrilling to me just yet. MCC sounds great, well I'm a tad nervous now, but thats natural. It just sucks that she is leaving.


I'd like to dedicate todays blog to Ali!


It was junior year. I was really good friends with Luke. I decided to meet up with Luke at their High School's Homecoming game. I went, found Luke in the stands, and he was with a group of his friends. He introduced me to Ali and several others (like he did every gathering I joined him at). She seemed nice, but that was it. All I knew about her was Luke had a crush on her. Well the year continued & I every once in a while saw Ali at youth group or a gathering at Luke's house.


Senior year began and I went to yet another football game at North. Ali & I became closer and closer, eventually doing things on our own, or with other people besides Luke. I joined a Bible Study with her, and saw her every Wednesday & Thursday. I went to prom with her & some other friends.


This summer we became extremely close, we spent most days together, spending probably every other night over at someones house. (That would be our friendship in a nutshell)


Ali is my best friend. I have had a lot of good friends in my life, never a friend so genuine and concerned about me! And as odd as it sounds, never had I had such a great friend that is a female! Boys are easier to deal with (or so I thought..) Our friendship is one of those things you just know is going to last a while.


Because of Luke & now Ali, I have a lot of great friendships from North. People who I think I am going to have around for a while & can't wait to see succeed at college! Some are leaving, going to new places, starting a new chapter in their life book. Some are sticking around with me at MCC, starting slowly at this college thing (& cheaper ;) .


I think another huge part of adulthood is relationships. You have to decipher who is good, who is not so good, who you will hang around, who you only talk on Facebook, and who you kick to the curb! Just like my previous blog a few weeks ago, being an adult means de-bombing drama. Some people in your life are more drama then others. The only people you need in your life are those who care about you, who like you, and who want to spend time with you. {Now that is saying it in a simple way, all the complications fall under that.} But another huge part of friendship is you care about them, you like them and you want to spend time with them. I have recently learned that there is no such thing as a one sided friendship. Eventually you feel empty and worthless and it's just not true. 


I am super bummed about my best friend, Ali, leaving. It's going to be hard not to call her in the spur of the moment to hang out just because I have nothing to do. It's going to be hard not to have a random sleepover just because we want to. It's going to be hard not to see her every other day. But I know that with todays technology it's easy to stay in touch. Between Facebook, texting, and Skype, we will talk. But its a change, another change we are forced to go through as we transition from high school to adulthood. 


This change is opening a door for both of us. She is going to make lots of new friends at EIU, as am I at MCC, or at least I'm going to have the chance to make existing friendships stronger. But the beauty of finding a best friend is that no matter the distance, the time, or the situation, when the two unite it picks right up where it was left off. 


I will always consider David my best friend,  and I pray with all my strength that one day soon I will be able to be contact with him again. But the Lord works in crazy ways, Ali came along in my life at the perfect moment and here today I am dedicating a blog to her. Saying "See you Later" tomorrow is going to be so difficult, and I may even cry (God, I hope not) but the bottom lines is, tomorrow is just a beginning. One day she will be coming over to my new apartment, eventually, Lord willing, we will watch each other walk down the aisle, we will welcome each others children into the world, we will have memories forever. 


The dynamics of all relationships change, as life changes. But having good friends that stick by your side makes everything a whole lots easier. 


{To my Best Friend: Best of luck as you embark on this new journey. Don't let any boy break your heart, don't make stupid choices, enjoy the ride while you can, and keep my posted. Prayers of love flying your way. See you soon :) }

GOD is GOOD

Where to begin, 


Well, I feel inspired to write, but I'm not sure on what. 


Basically this next week is my last week of summer, the true and final good-bye to all high school connections. I start official college a week from today. 


It's also a hard week. Several of my good friends leave this week. It's sad and inspiring all in one sweep. 


Basically life has been good, and consistent. I'm excited to embark on the official college experience, start new things (other then college), explore new friendships, and take on more responsibility (but SLOWLY!). 


Lately I feel like I'm moving 100 mph, but really not doing anything worth while. I just purchased my first car (my goal for the summer, check!) which is a big accomplishment, but I'm talking WORTH WHILE! Something that makes an impact on someones life! I'm a future event planner, I'm use to planning something, taking on a new challenge and making my life ten times more crazy! That is when I thrive! God is working on something for my life,  I am just waiting for Him to reveal it to me. 


I'm ready for the challenge and the new experience. This is the moment I have been waiting for, that moment when all fear of growing up and embarking on this change dissolves. Now I'm sure that ugly head of fear will strike me again, but right now I'm ready for what God is preparing to through my way. 


Not a lesson, but the moment I've been waiting for. GOD is GOOD! 


til next time... 

Sweet Angels

I wrote this in my creative writing class over a year ago. 

r.i.p sweet angels: hope fuller, jacob elkin, caleb bond 

Why? 

Cayla Learman 

I sit in a cold and solemn room 

The only noise the peeping of machines 

I search the book I have hung onto for life 

Abraham lived a hundred and seventy-years 
He died at a good old age, full of years 


(I dream now, a celebration of birth 
Another year gone by 
I awake with a tear-soaked face)


Moses lived a hundred and eight years 
He lived and eventful and meaningful life 


(I glance at old pictures now-
Holidays and programs 
I toss them aside)


John the Baptist lived thirty years 
A God-sent messenger 


I stare at the tiny blessing lying in the room 
Motionless and dazed 
Why do I live on? 




Sorrow 
Cayla Learman 


Dedicated to those who have lost a love one 


I shift weight in bed 


The pillow wipes me tear stained face 


I drift back into dream land 


How do I let God have my sorrow? 


How do I let Him overtake this emptiness? 


I walk through the halls at work 


I see your face smile at me 


Like a cloud of dust it vanishes 


How do I not let this grief over take me?


How do I live in happiness and not sorrow? 


I blow out the birthday candles for you now 


A year has passed since you touched my skin 


I shed yet another tear 


When do I let go of the sorrow? 


When do I start living again? 


An image of His son on the cross flashes 


The son's hand reaches for me 


A smile spreads across my face 

Money Well Earned or Well Spent?

I currently sit in my friends garage, waiting for anyone, anyone to come and buy this CRAP!

We are having a garage sale. All three of us girls rummaged through our teenage rooms and weeded out the stuff that once held importance and now is just...tacky!  My friend's mom's boyfriend also put a TON of stuff in, so here we are with some decent stuff, some not so decent stuff. It's the 2nd day, we each made good money.

As I sit here it made me think about the importance of the stuff I have. At one point this purse was the "it" factor. I could not live without it! Now I'm selling it in a garage sale for .50 cents. Or the phone cases I got at the mall, you know those stands with the India salesman. They charge you 20$ for a case that seems like it's going to make your LIFE! Now here I am, I have four of them, that no longer fit my the phone I have, I'm about 60$ out, and selling them for .25 cents.

What was I thinking!?

My goal is to in a year move out of my parents house.  I want to get a year of college under my belt, figure out if I'm transferring schools, get a job, and make a move!  If I transfer then I could stay in a dorm, if I don't I could get an apartment with some friends. Either way the plan is to be out in a year. Obviously with a new room/house, new stuff comes. Already, even though its a year away, and no set plans are made, I'm excited about decorating and getting a new style.

Looking at the garage it looks like I through up a mess of tacky items, nasty jewelry, unfashionable purses and clothes, and most of all, A WASTE OF MONEY!

In High School I took a Consumers class. It really made me reconsider how I spend my money. It also made me make a plan of how I will spend my money as an adult. Now that I am working & it's my own money, I feel like a cheep-o, but I'm not gonna waste me money on unnecessary things!

This weekend's garage sale was a good lesson on how valuable my things really are, and what was/is necessary. As I slowly creep into adult hood I need to have a constant reminder that my money is not to be spent on worthless items, but rather on items that are needed and worthwhile. Otherwise in five years I will be here again, selling my crap!

living to learn....